Every human being lives in two worlds — the one outside and the one within. And, the bridge between the two lies in the stories we tell ourselves. These stories are not only reflection, but the architecture of our identity. Our inner narrative shapes our confidence, decisions and the way we interpret events.
Think about it: two people can go through the same experience — a setback, a missed opportunity, a difficult conversation — yet emerge with entirely different takeaways. One sees it as proof of inadequacy, the other as opportunity for growth. The difference lies not in the event, but in the story each person tells themselves about it.
Psychologist Dan McAdams describes this as narrative identity — the internal stories that create our sense of self. Studies have shown that people who tell “redemptive” stories (where setbacks lead to growth) report greater well-being and purpose. In other words, resilience is narrative before it becomes behavioural.
James Gross’s research on cognitive reappraisal shows that how we interpret events directly affects emotional outcomes. Essentially his idea states that changing how you think about a situation changes how you feel about it. People who use this approach experience more positivity, less stress, have better relationships and improved performance.
But long before modern psychology, spiritual traditions spoke about this. The Bhagavad Gita is, at its heart, a dialogue about reframing. Stoic philosophy teaches the same principle: “It’s not things that disturb us,” wrote Epictetus, “but our judgment about them.” Buddhism, too, frames suffering as a story of attachment and interpretation — liberation begins when we see that our narrative is not the ultimate truth but one possible version of it.
Our stories can shrink or expand the space we live in. When our internal narrative is one of scarcity (“I’m not good enough,” “This is always my luck”), we live in a world of limits. When it is one of growth and meaning (“I’m learning,” “This is shaping me”), we inhabit a larger, more empowered reality.
For leaders, this matters too. The story you tell yourself when faced with uncertainty and challenge becomes the story your team absorbs. The best leaders frame chaos into purpose and failure into learning. They understand that storytelling isn’t escapism; it’s how humans absorb change. Effective leaders reframe the story. “We failed” becomes “We learned” “The market shifted” becomes “We need to reinvent” They don’t deny the facts — they simply rewrite the meaning.
The ancient mystics and modern neuroscientists agree on one thing: the mind believes what it repeats. In the end, we live not just the life we experience, but the one we narrate to ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves can chain us in fear or propel us toward infinite possibility.
So, choose your story with care. Because while we may not always control the plot of our lives, we always hold the pen that writes the story we tell ourselves.
